Melancholy- what an awful feeling- kills me from inside. Well, it's great that I have super-extra grades, it's great to have funny friends, play volleyball and football. Great.. Maybe I'm just tired (probably yes) or maybe I'm sick of all these things. I mean it's not so bad, maybe I'm just tired.... But I also know that I try (sometimes it doesn't work) to go by my daily routine and nothing interesting happens. Well there are many amazing things. I'll give you an example; when I laugh, only my lips laugh, my soul is calm and sad a little bit. Is it because of my none love-to-guy life? Maybe. I want to kiss all the time, be dozy, but have so much energy in my heart that sleep will not be necessary. I want to do my lessons with love and rush, just to end it, and come up to meet you and tell you how much I missed you and how much I love you. I know it sounds cheesy and sort of a cheap bullshit, but .... Oh, that's my mood and I'm not gonna to plead. I hate it that I don't have boyfriend. It totally sucks. Maybe it would be better just to kiss and laugh but to have not-so-ideal boyfriend. Maybe... I want to hear from his lips a whispering to my ear, saying :" darling, you're special. I love you." Oh, God, it would be freaking fucking awesome. Maybe then I could say: " I choked by the influence of wind". Maybe then I had a power to live better, faster, stronger.
I should read some books to escape from reality but I'm not sure is escaping a good way to solve some problems, probably not.
It's silly.
Why my notes are so short? :c
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